Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Whats up with San Fran?

San Fransisco is the Craziest city in the world. I don't remember why this is on my mind right now, but it is so true. I went there some months ago with my Sheltered Utah County family in our huge van. We were visiting my cousins that live in San Jose. So for one of the days while we were there we decided to go visit the windy road, and the Golden(actually red) Gate Bridge and all that fun. We also heard that down town the local theater was playing the famous Wicked play that my mom loves oh so much. Rumor spread that if we waited the day of the play we could get limited view seats. So there we were in a drug ridden city with our Utah accents and Utah driving skills(don't remind my dad that we drove down a 7 lane one way street in some of the worst traffic ever GOING THE WRONG WAY!). I knew it was going to be an experience but I couldn't see what was coming. We step out of the car and the first thing we see is a wide eyed Homeless man who started to count out loud 1,2,3..5 kids, I recall he said "wow, .. Wow .. WOW, 5 kids!" little did he know that this wasn't even all of us. His surprise was short lived, and his purpose was revealed as he begged my dad for some food. Right then I new we wereN in the MounNs anymore. We moved on to the Theater on the way we passed through drunken women falling around, gangsters, and I saw more toothless men sitting on the curb then singing birds.
The theater told us that we had to wait for and hour to see if we got the tickets that they were raffling off. While me and my siblings waited we were passed by a large black man pushing a shopping cart full of cloths and food and stuff. He stopped turned our direction and I thought my heart was going to stop. But luckily he was on the high side of his LSD (or whatever he was on) and he could only stare off in to the distance as he talked to us. I was really surprised, I must of missed judge homeless people, For some odd reason I thought that they were Ill-educated. Boy did he prove me wrong. He waved his little American flag around and shouted"America, America, America!" "What da 3 branches of Government,.. (we all stood still) "U know da 3 branches?" (silence) "There's the Judicial, da Legislative, and da Executive which is like the President." ... .. .. "There's the Judicial, da Legislative, and da Executive which is like the President." I don't know if he thought that we couldn't hear him or maybe the people in San Fran just need everything twice so they can have time to digest it with there booze. He then walked off with his shopping cart still shouting fro America. But luckily won the tickets and saw Wicked(no Irony there) in San Fransisco. I won't tell you about the places that everyone migrates to in the night life, lets just they go to dances, and its not exactly the type of dances you go to at EFY. I didn't think that the city could get any weirder until that night my cousin told me about the Bush man. He is a homeless man that hides behind bushes and when some random person walks by he jumps out and basically says boo. Now that is fairly reasonable, I've seen almost equivalent at the Junior High. But that's not the craziest thing! He gets paid to do it!
$600,000 dollars a year! Maybe its not weird, maybe I just don't understand the art of scaring people or the cities' whole culture for that matter, but I think I'd rather just be a sheltered Utah hick for the rest of my life.


  1. The windy road? Its called Lombard Street, get with it Cameron. I want to meet the Bush Man one day, he sounds cool.